Take the Time
Do you sometimes feel like you’ve fallen into a deep dark hole and can’t seem to get out?
Recently, I had three separate conversations with three people and each conversation seemed to echo the same sour note. They each, in so many words, said "some days I ask myself “what's the point?" They were just down in the dumps for various reasons. I get calls like that from time to time because, as one of them said, "I'm in a funk and I knew you'd be able to get me out of it” I suppose that's one of my super powers.
Even though I took the time to listen to them and encourage them, coax them out of their dark hole - it occurred to me that perhaps part of their problem and struggle was that they were so wrapped up in themselves and all that was going on in their lives that they had lost perspective. The easiest way to gain that perspective back is to do something for someone else. Help someone else and don't expect ANYTHING in return!
If you have forgotten "what is the point" -then take a step back and get out of your own way. Reach out to someone else. Feel their struggle and their accomplishments. It's so enlightening to do so. You don't really have to do anything more than simply listen to them most of the time.
Our lives have become so over stimulated with the pressures of being a certain way for people that we begin to think we are failing because we can't seem to do it all, can’t please everyone.
I happen to believe that one of our most profound purposes in life is to help one another. Don't judge them, don't expect anything from them, don't do it for them - just reach out to them and listen. You may be surprised how quickly you will rediscover your "purpose".
By the way, is there someone that you always turn to when you need help or need a sympathetic ear? Try calling them and asking them how they are today. Resist the urge to tell them about your troubles. My experience is that those people usually carry the special burden of always listening but never having someone they can confide in. It can be very lonely for that person to have to be strong for you and everyone else around them. After all that is one of the reasons you unload your troubles on them. These special, strong and wise people still put their own needs aside - to be there for you. You know who I'm talking about don't you? You'd probably refer to them as a hero to you.
My father was one of those people for me. Bruce Hobbs, one of my dearest friends in the world was another. They were my heroes. They would remind me "everything's going to be alright" no matter how bad I thought things were. I miss being able to pick up the phone and call them, knowing they would always be there for me and always pick me up, no matter how far I had fallen into that dark hole of despair and doubt. I miss them both very much since their passing.
I wish I had taken the time to pick up the phone and say "Hey daddy, how are you doing today?" Or "Hey buddy, what's new with you. How's life treating you today?" and then just shut up and listened.
Boy, do I miss hearing their voice. If only I had learned to Take the Time!
Old man and clock – courtesy of Jim Carpenter